My Blog

Fame to Failure

I don’t even know where my next meal is coming from. I hate being down and out. This economy is just the pits now for the unemployed. I just lost my condo, good thing I don’t have any damn crumb snatchers. The night at the shelter was horrendous, smelly feet were in my face, farts were loose and wild in that room. Thinking about it now, I feel like throwing up in my mouth. How did it get to this? I am a Harvard Law graduate, six months ago I was working at one of the most prestigious Law Firms in the country, I was married to a millionaire and now I am ducking out of a shelter? Where did it all go wrong? I was on top of the world, getting in corporate clients, winning law suits for my clients, successfully getting criminals off cases that if they had a less talented Lawyer they would be in jail by now. I sat down on a park bench, after scarfing a stale breakfast from the shelter. I felt almost like Forest Gump sitting there, eager to share my life story with anyone who sat beside me, but I held it in, this is the big city no one talks to strangers. Especially if they are looking like me, dirty and crazy. I just sat there, closed my eyes and drifted back to where it all started. Graduation Day I cannot believe it me, immigrant from Jamaica is the Valedictorian of my Harvard Law graduating class. I think I am in a dream, no way is this possible but it is.

Excerpts From Deadly Secrets.

Jordan Livingston.

I leaned against the door and made my eyes take in the beauty of the scene unfolding before me. Jackie's olive skin blended in with the white silk sheets, one of her long smooth legs stuck out from the sheets. I took in the vision and imagined that her legs wrapped around my waist while I pumped in and out of her in pleasure. Jackie is the Queen of my heart and soul and it irks me that I have to be without her as my tale of cheating will end this paradise forever. I will seek solace and blessings in Vancouver and pray she will not rid her soul of me. I strolled in the room and got on the bed with her; she rolled over and I kissed her forehead, she stirred awake and smiled, she pulled me in for a deep kiss, my breathing was choppy by the time we came up for air. She undid the buttons of my shirt and then came on top of me. She had a lace pink bra on, I touched her breast aww they are sweet and firm. I licked my lips as I know this moment, this very moment and the rest of the night will be very sexy and sensual one I will not soon forget. My big man was now at full attention, Jackie reached found him and stroked him. I let out a stifled moan; ooh the pleasure, I looked up at her wide eyed and happy, felt as if I were a kid again, getting my first ever truck at Christmas. I feel sweet, Jackie licked her lips, oh I know what is coming next, she kissed my lips, flicked her tongue over them, kissed my neck, my nipples, rolled her tongue over each one. Damn was I aroused, she looked at me and smiled wickedly. I was gone, I felt like I was in an ocean, swimming the water warm against my skin, delicious feelings overwhelmed me. Her hands glided over my entire body, silky feelings etched my soul. Lovemaking with Jacks made life seem simple, no worries, no filthy demons chasing your soul trying to suck you dry. Just smooth being with her. She worked her way down my torso with kisses; licks and small bites. Ooh damn, she was at my penis; she held it, kissed the tip over and over SHIT. She kept licking it, licked as if it were a sweet chocolate stick. She moaned with each licks and kisses she took. Then she took it in all at once, and moved her mouth up and down, in and out. I screamed out in pleasure..... I looked around and realized it was only a dream, which even made me more depressed. I got up packed my suitcases; I am taking about four because I really do not know how long I’d be in Vancouver for and whether I will be travelling to somewhere else. My flight was in a few hours so I showered and planned to go from home; wrap a few things up at the office and then go to the airport from there. As I headed out the door, my phone rang, I checked the number and it was Nikki’s cell, I wonder why she is calling, maybe to wish me good luck. “Jay, have you left as yet, I need to go to Brazil, I need to go there I just heard she is there with Dudley, I felt as if I were dying when I heard, how cruel is this woman, I have to go there.” I sat back down, I think I am hearing Nikki speaking of going to Brazil, to hunt for Maude and Dudley, she cannot be serious! “Nik, uhm are you completely out of your mind? Going to Brazil now in your advanced state of pregnancy is mad, plus Maude and Dudley are the two most dangerous people in the world to you right now, darling what brought this sudden craziness on?” Nikki, was sobbing uncontrollably, I love my friend to bits but I cannot let anyone including her delay my trip to Vancouver, so I said, “Nikki, no I am still here in Toronto but I board my plane in a few hours, where is Marlon?” “Jay, I am so sorry to bother you, you have your own issues. Marlon is on an assignment in Kingston and will be there for a few. I just need to be in Brazil, but I really wouldn’t know where to look. One of Maude’s crony’s girlfriends made me aware Maude is in Brazil, having a happy reunion with dirty Dudley.” Oh so this is what brought on this madness? I tried to talk some sense into Nikki, “Nikki, you are pregnant, you cannot go in a plane and search for these people in an enormous country as Brazil, you may speak Portuguese but you don’t know where to start looking for them. Please Nikki, let me have my investigators go there to search for them, please darling, I don’t want to lose you and my unborn nephew, please promise me. As soon as I hang up with you, I’ll be calling them as well as the authorities in Brazil. But you cannot go there; it is too dangerous in your condition!” Nikki, sighed, and sniffed; “Okay, Jay, I know it is madness, plus Marlon will kill me, I will do it your way, but I hope they will be caught soon, Maude needs to pay for what she did to me and Marlon; he needs to answer for raping me all those years!” I was so happy, she was planning on waiting, “Nikki, who contacted you and how did she know where to find you?” “She found my number in Maude’s phone, I wondered how that animal got my number, but it turns out her crony is a hacker and hacked in the phone company’s data base and got our number. What she said piqued my interest, so I met her at the Hard Rock Cafe that is when I learnt this horrible news!” I hope Maude rots in hell one day for what she has done, how could a mother do that to her own child? “Nikki, I will call my investigators now, and will keep you abreast of their progress, I have to go now as I have to get to the office before I leave. I love you lots and I will be back in time for the birth of my nephew okay.” “Jay, I love you too, and you better be there for your neice’s birth! One thing can you please not mention my temporary state of madness to Marlon, thanks much and I trust you to get those two so I will stay put okay.” I was so happy she put her temporary insanity away. As I cannot deal with anymore sadness for now; after we hung up, I called Jacks, her phone went to voice mail, I decided not to leave a message as I wanted to speak with her, I will call when I get to Vancouver I guess. I wrapped things up at the office and Dwayne’s driver came and picked me up in a stretched BMW limo, I got in and was pleasantly surprised, the bar was stacked and there were cold sandwiches; that made me very happy as I realised I haven’t eaten as yet. I saw a note from Dwayne, begging me not to wreck his plane and he prayed I will not have sex on it, as he does not want the furniture to be ruined. I chuckled as I had not one to make love with anymore and all I planned to do is sleep the entire way there.


Cheryl M Spence.

July 2009.

New Book Started- Drama and Complications.

Drama and Complications Copyrighted 2007 by Cheryl M. Spence.


Foolishness I Cannot Take Right Now.

Karen

“What do you mean you can’t keep your kids Kendra?” I stared opened mouthed at my baby sister; she called me in a panic begging me to meet her here at this Starbucks. Kendra, lips trembling, she was standing and she wobbled back to her seat. She whispered, as if trying to hide her damn shame from the world, “I cannot keep them, as Shawn won’t marry me, with kids. I cannot afford to lose him Karen,  he can take care of me, girl you know I never finished uni, he promised to take care of me, send me back to school, but no kids.” I don’t think I am hearing this girl right, I know she didn’t just say what I think she said, “Kendra, this is fuckery, did you hide the fact that you had kids from him? No you didn’t so he is a grown man, did he just fucking find out he didn’t want your kids? I now know why I don’t like his punk ass!” I seem to be the only one with sense out of my three girlfriends which also includes my flighty sister Kendra; gold digger, extraordinaire. She got her two kids, twins mind  you by trickery and treachery; she screwed a then high in his game hockey star, yeah not basketball, nor football, but hockey star. She fooled him she was on the pill, when she stopped taking them. She got pregnant, six years later he committed murder, died in prison and she is now alone with her twelve year old twins, who by the way give a whole other meaning to the word twin terrors, no wonder this man  don’t want them. They are worse than Bebe's kids. 

My sister Kendra is beautiful, light skin, full grey eyes, figure like a model slim, legs ran for miles, my mother, my complicated mother, wanting only light skinned children, went out of her way to England, married a man brought him over to Canada. She made him give her three children and then found some ridiculous fault with him, so she could divorce him. I often wondered why she went all the way to England for a White man, when they were more than the hairs of her head here in Canada. Her reply, an English white man has a less than likely possibility of being mixed. She wanted a pure White man to father her children. I wished she never told me that story, when I chastised her, she said, “Karen look at me, I am black as coal, do you think I want that for my children?” So yeah, Kendra, Kenneth and I are light skin, I could pass for a white woman, except for my nappy hair, which my mother has tried unsuccessfully for years to straighten. I am from a mixed up, crazy family.

Then there is Cyndi, sexy, slim, high forehead, she is a lush, self centred and lazy, always in the groove to trap any man with a bank account above a million, she worms her way into their lives, uses seduction and drugs, tells them she is pregnant she gets paid, spends the money and move on to her next target. Her lifestyle has taken her all over the world, one minute she is a bartender in Scotland, and then the next minute she is rolling with some executive at a record label in New York. Then I heard this girl was in Cannes, sponging off some old white dude who looks like he is a prime stock holder in the company that makes Viagra. Sex, drugs, booze and lies all come together to make the wonderful package called Cyndi.

And last but by no means least is Jada, she is a stripper, lives in a loft downtown that most hard working people cannot afford, she gives massages with a happy ending, and is paid, oh she is well paid. She constantly moans how her life is miserable, claims she would like to get her bartending license but cannot find enough time off her back to get to school.

Now me, lawyer, junior partner in a prestigious law firm in Toronto, graduated at the top of my class, I am earning a six figure salary and have stock options in my company, stocks in other major corporations, plus I have my own hand-bag line, making me millions on the side. People may wonder why I am friends with these three including my selfish sister, but history and events in history has kept us bonded.

Now back to my sister’s mental degradation as this is all I can call this mess now. “Karen, of course he knew I had kids, I will never hide my damn kids from a man, but he probably had no intention of falling in love with me, and didn’t mind them, but now he wants to be married. Karen, you know Kobe and Katelyn, nobody can control those kids. Do you think mum will keep them for me? I just want more time after the wedding to convince him to let me raise the children and be his wife at the same time.” She pleaded with her eyes, I will not participate in this mess; I drummed my fingers against the table and bounced my leg. I said, “Kendra, you know damn well mum will not be able to handle those kids, she is sixty five, riddled with arthritis, and high blood pressure, plus she is done raising kids.” Kendra said, “Karen, you know I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t want to get my life back on track. You know I should have been a lawyer by now, if I never dropped out of Howard I would be working for a law firm or own my own firm instead of making next to nothing as a frustrated call centre rep, Karen you know how humiliating it is to have some of those idiots talk down to you? I need this change and Shawn is the one to give it to me.” I felt little pity for her; Kendra got into Howard with student loans and my help, and threw it all away when she decided hooking up with a professional athlete is the best life had to offer, she kills me sometimes. I looked at her and what I will say next will crush her; “Kendra, you will never guess who called me today, wanting me to come and be a partner in her law firm.” She gave me a blank stare, I waited she has no clue so I continued. “Remember Jackie Cole, you guys went to Howard together, she went on to Osgoode Hall, she has a small firm and wants me to come aboard, she is going on maternity leave and says she needs someone with my experience to continue on.” A flash of remembrance hit her, she feebly said, “Jackie Cole, yeah I remember her, we wanted to open a law firm together. I never knew she graduated from Osgoode, good for her, you should take her up on her offer.” I said, “Yes, she got married to didn’t she marry Jordan Livingston and now she is having her first child. Kendra, it is you Jackie should have been making this offer to, but...” My voice trailed off, I hated that she feels she needs to sell her soul to the devil in the red skin Shawn to go back to school. “Karen, now you know I have to get back into school, I am thirty two with two kids, stuck in a dead end job, I will never get promoted at that place, as if you are not liked you are  stuck on the phones forever. Please let me ask mom to help me out here." I think I should not have told her about Jackie, as I think it has made her more determined to go through with her terrible plan.

I didn't want to harass mom with Kendra's drama, mum did not bless Kendra’s plan to marry that hockey player, but she accepted the marriage overtime. I am not sure what her reaction will be to Kendra’s latest scheme. “Kendra, mum is sixty five years old, retired, has arthritis remember, she cannot handle your kids. An army cannot handle your children, especially Kobe, he is rude and out of control.” Kendra was upset, she pouted her lips, she always gets so defensive about Kobe, and he is only twelve and has had several run INS with the police. Katelyn is two sleeps away from getting pregnant. I know mum will give a definite no to Kendra. Kendra said,  “Karen I am not stupid you know, I do have two years of university I know mum is sick, but I need to get my life fixed and only Shawn can help.” I shook my head and bit down on a carrot stick. She mumbled, “It’s not like I have anyone else, you have completely abandoned me...” I lean forward, squinted my eyes, and stared her dead in the face, I felt like putting her across my knees and spanking her as she was being an ungrateful spoilt brat right now. “Kendra, are you fucking kidding me? I sent you to a university in the United States, it cost me tons, I worked like a dog, to pay your tuition and repay my huge student loans. Because of this, I missed out on a great relationship with Patrick, remember Patrick, great guy, loved me to death, but he couldn’t hang around for me to finish my eighteen hour days. So yeah, I did abandon you, you are a bottomless pit, and I am done, not having this conversation anymore.” Kendra, moved her lips, I held my palm up to her, gathered up my purse, coat and shades and stormed out. Fuck her and the horse she rode in on. I was shaking. Geez, bottomless pit!




KENDRA

Karen is such a witch, sometimes bitch evil, ugh! I cannot stand her; it’s unbelievable that she is refusing to speak with mum for me. I sat frozen at my seat; I cannot keep Kobe and Katelyn, or my future will be up in smoke, sometimes I regret having them. My mind went to the conversation about Jackie Cole, she was not even that good at university, I helped her on most of her papers and now she is a lawyer, married to one of the best men on earth. I pinched myself, I was having covetous feelings and that is one of the worst things anyone can do.

I sat in the Starbucks for a few minutes after Karen left, I played the arguments I need to use, to convince mom to raise the kids, I only need two years, I dropped out of Howard at the end of my second year, my grade point average was 4.0, I can get into a good Canadian university as an upper year student. I will find way for Shawn to dump me as I will come off as a gold digging bitch if I end the relationship with him just as I graduate. I will cross that bridge when I get there, now my main problem is getting my mother to raise those kids.




CYNDI

I just finished having the wildest sex with someone who is not twice my age for once. I am falling for Morris, but he is poor. I am used to Diva Vodka and caviar, not beer and pretzel which are only what he can afford. The sex is great, I see stars, pretty colours and the moon when I orgasm. Great sex makes me happy but money makes me ecstatic. Morris is a trained lawyer, but he was disbarred as he became who he represented a drug dealer and a con artist. He has a law degree, he can enrol for another degree; instead my sex god and love has settled for a life as a hotel cleaner. I looked over at him and he was fast asleep, my phone rang, he stirred, my phone was on the table on his side, he reached as if he wanted to pick the phone. I sprung out of bed like a crazed woman. "Morris, that's my phone, what the hell are you doing?" He said, "Cyndi are you cheating on me? What the fuck was that?" I was shaking of course I was cheating hard core on him, damn sex made me lose my game, I usually put that phone in my safe, yeah safe whenever, Morris comes around. I slipped up, haven’t had any good sex in days, I greeted him at the door naked and practically dragged him into the bedroom I totally forgot about my phone. There was silence, too long of a silence, silence that made me look guilty. His eyes welled up with tears; I need to say something, but what? I said, “Morris, you were sleeping and I didn’t want the phone to disturb you baby.” I held his hands he pulled them away and got up, he searched the room with his eyes, I panicked, what is he looking for? “I want my clothes, where are they? I need to leave.” I said, “Baby, of course I am not cheating on you. I would never do that, c’mon. Morris, come back arrgh!” He hurried through the doors and flew down the stairs, I had to stop him. I was naked but I just grabbed the sheet and wrapped it around myself. I didn’t have to go outside as he was sitting at the bottom of the stairs, his head was in his hand and he was sighing, I have never seen Morris so upset. I crept down the stairs as I didn’t want him to leave, I got close to him, I kissed his neck, and he didn’t move I take this as a good sign. He said, “Cyndi, I know I don’t have much, but that doesn’t mean I will accept being treated like garbage. I am your man, and I need to know whether anyone else is fucking you?” I know if I told him, I am a pimp short of being a high class call girl, I’d never see him again. Morris thinks I am a stockbroker, toiling in one of those big downtown offices. Thank God for his disdain of anything corporate he has never wanted to visit me at work. I said, “Morris, I would never cheat on you honey, there is no reason for me to cheat. I have you, and that is all I need.” I could be an actress, should have signed up for “The Young and The Restless.” I was so sincere, eyes truthful, his eyes softened and I sighed deep within, and I would just die if Morris found out what I really do with my days. Just as I was gazing into his eyes panic came over me; what if I gave him A.I.D.S. or any other STDs? I calmed down as I have been tested regularly, and we always use a condom so I calmed down.


Jada

I love my life, its I can do whatever I want without being censored.  I don't give a shit about what that church going, pulpit kisser ass of a mother think about me fucking, loving and making money. She was poor, still is poor serving her God.  I no longer believe in that God, hmm never will I believe in Him.  He took my baby boy, seven weeks out, healthy, all of a sudden baby boy got terminal cancer. Why give me such a precious gift only to take it away? Yeah mum, yeah! Oh and the beautiful irony of it all, I cannot have any more kids. Isaiah was my miracle baby.  So yeah again mum, I don't give two fucks about what you are preaching.  Oh who am I kidding, I love the sex, but hate the men, I wanna be free, free from them, free from the voices inside my head, free from my mother's voice. Freedom I could kiss you, why are you so far from me?

I sat on my balcony, high up on the 32nd floor, I wondered what would it be like to have freedom, soaring high in the sky. Then I remembered oh you will hit the ground and be smashed into a million pieces.  My mother's words played in my head, "Jade, your soul will fry in hell." Even though I no longer believe in God, I still believe in eternal damnation, what is that though?

My doorbell rang, I don't wanna answer it, it has got to be smiling Robbie, money icon, smells like goat cheese, folds of fat every where.  I hate him, he is one of my best customers, I massage him and he comes, never wants me to touch him there, he never touches me or attempt to make me give him a happy ending massage. He pays well, thousands per hour, he just sits and stares at me, while I dance naked for him after his massage.  I still hate him.

Just as I knew, Smiling Robbie is here, he is more sweaty than I have ever seen him. He hurried in, looking scared and whiter than usual.  "Robbie, is everything going okay, you are sweating like a pig right now."  I was always cruel to him.  "I am in trouble Jada, big trouble, I have to stay with you for a while, if I go back home I am dead."  I stood and stared at him, no way in hell is this fool staying here, I have other clients, plus living with anyone will cramp my style. "Look Robbie, you are one of my best clients, I will admit, but there is no way you are staying here."  His demeanor went from being scared to scary, he lounged at me, grabbed my neck and braced me against my wall.  "Look, you piece of garbage, I gave you loads of money, without once putting it inside you. I NEED  a place to hide out and you are it!" I had no fear, I was angry when he said those words, "Nigga, please you don't own me, my  spot is not a sanctuary go find a Priest, get out." He squeezed my neck a bit harder.  I found strength from somewhere and kneed him in his balls, he doubled over in pain.  I cracked my neck and stood over the fat mess.  I kicked him, in the balls three of four times, he yelled out in pain. Earth shattering pain. I did not care.  It was hot, I was hot, my heart raced, my head hurt.  I ran to the closet and took out my glock.  I aimed it at the trash still on my floor.  He whimpered saying I shouldn't kill him. I was hard, I wanted to kill him.  "You better give me a good reason, not to shoot you and hack you up! Talk nigga."  "You ever wondered where I get all the money I have been throwing at your narrow behind?" I kicked him, he yelled help, kicked him again.  "I am a drug dealer, I am a drug dealer, they have come to collect and I am a walking dead man."

Kendra

So I am mustering the courage to go see my mother, she has not returned any of my calls, Karen must have told her I wanted to see her.  Mum has never refused any of my calls ever, I thought my big sis had no intention on getting involved in my drama.

Streets of da TDot

“Karen, welcome to Canada, you will have life as you have never known before; and I will be right by your side my darling daughter.” I made up my face in disgust as I don’t know why “she” is calling me her darling daughter, I am not! I took a sudden dislike to this woman, she took my dad from my mom and moved him here and now she has taken me away from my mom, friends and my final year in high school. Her fake smile made me cringe, but I followed mummy’s advice and pretended to be happy although I am so miserable inside.
Karen is a seventeen year old Jamaican high school girl in her final year, she is a child of divorce, her parents were happily married until Joan a white woman from Canada, came to Jamaica, took one look at her dad Cecil, had an affair with him, which led to her parents divorcing and within the next two years her father packed up his job as a Pharmacist to live in Canada as a taxi cab driver, Joan is a Customer Service Representative at a bank and both her and Karen’s dad can only afford to live in a tiny three bedroom apartment in the government housing project on Trethewey Drive in Toronto. This is a far cry from life in Stony Hills; she had a BMW, a hot boyfriend who was the star of her school’s Priory High athletic team and she was one of the most beautiful popular girls. Her mother, concerned with the high rise in crime and the fact that she was a Criminal lawyer decided that Canada is the safest place for Karen and agreed with Cecil’s request for her to live with him here in Canada as a trial basis. Karen protested her mother’s decision but it was of no use, minds were made up and Karen at the end of her sixth form year had to painfully say good-bye to all her friends and boyfriend for a new life in Canada.
Karen realised that living with her step-mother was not going to be easy, the woman was plain nasty, she did not clean the apartment, and being someone who is much organised and would kill for a clean environment and the state of the apartment was in caused her much grief; not to mention the lion sized dog that is also a member of the family.
School was an absolute disaster for Karen, she was placed a grade behind; as she was told she needed to catch up before moving on to grade 12 and eventually university, most of the lessons being taught Karen already completed them two years prior. Frustration set in, she became rude and her grades fell, so bad in fact she was placed in an ESL programme. She hated most of the girls at her new school, they spoke down to her, because of her thick accent, thing is Karen spoke what could be called Queen’s English, while they spoke using slangs and words that will never make it in the English dictionary.
Karen’s step-mother became a thorn in her side, the woman refused to let Karen get a cell phone, she had to ask permission to go to the movies with her friends, to wear make-up; even lip gloss. Her father laid down the law, demanding she be home by nine on the weekends and no after school activities.
Karen and her step mother argued a lot, during one of the many arguments, Karen blurted out that she hated her step mother, and wished she were back home in Jamaica with the only woman who can ever be her mother. Joan reacted viciously to this by slapping her across the face, the result was a fist fight, with hair, blood and screams floating through that apartment which resulted in the police, the ambulance and social services being called. Karen was taken from the home for one night and was placed in a foster home. She met Julia, a petite; black girl, she was Canadian from her accent, Karen was not sure if she was born in Canada, her arms were full of needle tracks, which meant she was a shooter, heroin addict. She was on her cell phone, texting and calling her friends begging them to come and get her, as she is locked up. Karen was scared to death of this girl, but being Jamaican who is proud as hell she did not let her fear be revealed, but she kept a close eye on Julia, though. Julia had a hard life, raped and kicked out by her mother’s boyfriend in Nova Scotia; Julia thumbed her way to Toronto where she ended up being the slave to her pimp Josie....one of her johns turned Julia in to Social Services, who sent the police after Josie; he is locked up but that girl keeps dreaming he will be let out so she can go back to being a prostitute, she claims the money is good and she is free. Not free from what I can see Karen thought. She gave Karen her cell number, telling her to call/text anytime she wanted to get out from the rigid and structured life of being a normal kid to making money, having great sex, driving a 20 inch Cadillac and all the bling a young girl could ever want. Karen took the number but just to be polite.
The next day she went back and saw the injuries to her step mother, the woman had contusions on her left eye, a broken finger and swollen lips. She glared viciously at Karen when she entered and not two seconds after her dad dragged her into the room and warned her that if she ever, ever, hit her step mother or talked back to her, she will be on the next train to a group home. He took away Karen’s passport and phone privileges; meaning her mom will not know what went down.

Short Story Ending It.

I mulled over the words, sounds and emotions that swelled in my heart, hmm never knew it'd come to this but I must do this for the sake of me, I am dying and continuing this miserable existence will inevidently speed my death and darken my soul. I waited for her to exit the elevators, there she was beautiful, breath-takingly beautiful even, but she has become souless, wicked and so, so self-absorbed. I smiled at her and she frowned, yeah this is how bad it has become between Maxine and I. She hugged me barely, and my heart beat-fast. She can still drag strong sexual urges from me, but that is it, I truly dislike this woman. She spoke first, "Greg, lets go to Twiggy's on Corant Street tonight baby, I want sushi, I have had a long day, my boss I know hates me, and that back stabbing bitch Hillary is the cause, Ugggh!" I hate Twiggy's, I hate sushi, I hate driving all the way downtown, especially in this snow storm. "Max, are you kidding me? When we get out in the parking lot tell me what you see, and let me know if you still wanna go all the way down-town to Twiggy's" She screwed her mouth into a frown. "Greg, I want to go, rain, sleet or snow, I am tired and I need to go and unwind, please don't take this from me darling." She touched my face, I feel horny, that is all I feel. I decided I'd do it now. "Maxine, we need to talk. I can't do this anymore, this relationship is killing me, you are an abyss, a never ending case of need!" Maxine was stunned and humliated.

Need for Representation in the media that reflect the people of Canada!

I wish to see a radio or television station wholly committed to airing programmes, news, sports from a Caribbean perspective. Also of Afro-Canadians living in Canada, postive news of them and immigrants. The main stream media disgusts me. I wish I had the funds, to broadcasts and produce quality shows what happen to the kink in my hair. I wants us to compete with Hollywood, why is it that everyday and everyday all I see are faces on T.V. that do not represent the total culture of Canada and the world for that matter. This is my ranting for now, I will come back to this more later. But I am serious though there is a need for programs, magazines to the quality of Essence here in Canada. Where is the love?

Dreams

We become like fiends because of the need to eat, to sleep, to dream, let us let the garbage go. We steal, we eat, we dream, we feel , we become like fiends.

Walking, talking, dreaming, laughing, hoping one day we can let the garbage go.

That we can stop being fiends because we need to eat. Letting the garbage go!

Bearded Lady

Around the corner she came, hips swaying, ass jumping, tits bouncing. She had an ass, a perfect ass that makes a young man's dreams all the more moist! Gave hope to an old fool that he can rise again! Breasts were round and stood firm without a bra! Mabel my pain was jealous! I stared, licked my lips, my mind busy with wicked sensual impure thoughts. I got up, I was hypnotised by the sway of her hips, jumping of her ass, the bouncing of her tits! I'm before her now! My eyes wondered, from the sweetness between her legs, to those beautiful breasts and then her face! Too bad she was bearded at the tip! Mabel smirked, I fainted!

Humiliation Doth One

Why do they oppress? Is it because they do not want to understand our lives? We are given no jobs, opportunities to be better people, instead they turn their noses up at us, are content to build more jails, throw us out of school.

Then when we rob, kill and maim, they are content to build more jails, out of silliness blame the fact that there are too many guns.

Stop the oppression that we won't feel that we will rest if we die, as this life is too humilating to live. Find the cause of our woe.